Impressing people, happiness, and God.

A little old post from February 2011 on my old blog. It's fun finding these. Fun to see how my life has changed SO much in a year. 

I try to impress people. All the time. Then, if I let someone down... my whole world falls down. And I cry. A lot. I try to be everything I can be, to please others. Always.

Earlier this month, I asked myself: Am I happy?

The answer was, no.

Why not? I am living for others. Not for me. Not for God.

How do I change that? Follow my heart. Follow God. Pray. Listen to what God wants for me.

Last week, I quit my job at H&R block. I prayed about it, a lot. I felt the push. I knew that I was in that job for money and to impress people (my boss and my dad who values hard work). Which are both great, but I know that my energy belongs somewhere else.

What do I want to do? What does God want me to do? More prayer. I decided to take a risk. To pour myself into photography, with my whole heart. More than I ever have before. With God, I have new eyes. A new way of seeing everything in ways that have never seen them before.

For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I belong exactly where I am. I am satisfied. There is a freedom in knowing that you are always accepted and you are always loved. No matter what. There is a new light, a new joy to everything I do. And the glory is to God. Always.

I kind of feel naked on the web. Everyone who reads this now knows one of my biggest flaws (living to impress people). I'm slowly learning to let go. It's okay to be imperfect and vulnerable. Maybe even a little bit crazy at times. But hey, it may not be perfect but at least it's real.

Please ask yourself:

Am I happy? If not, why? What can I do to change it?

If you're happy, keep doing what you're doing. If not, change something.